| Life. In General. |
[05 Mar 2007|11:22am] |
"If tradegy is appealing, then disaster is an addiction"
And they were addicted. Oh so addicted.
But who am I to say anything? They brought it on to themselves. They lived for it. Through the relishing of the tradegy of others. Through the cherishing of the disaster they caused those unfortunate souls. They lived for it. Yes they did.
It's funny. The look of cold horror on their faces right before the end is comical. Because that's what was expected of them. Cold horror that lead to fear. Fear that led to respect. That's all that was needed... all that was expected...wasn't it?
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| Does the scent of regret ever haunt you? |
[20 Feb 2007|10:58am] |
What is it about you that makes my heart beat a mile a minute?
What is it about you that makes me forget everything?
What is it about you that makes, for just a moment, the whole world disapper?
What is it?
Can you tell me?
I'm dying to know.
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| I Wish I Was As Invisible As You Make Me Feel... |
[20 Feb 2007|10:44am] |
It's only madness that makes us who we truly are. Maybe to someone, somewhere, out there, I actually mean something. Maybe, just maybe.
You know, I've realised that there is no use trying to understand, comprehend, or in any other form appreciate life as you can't possibly come out of it alive. We all die at the end of it, don't we?
Why is it that people, according to my own family, can't understand me? My own mother treats me like a moral waste. She probably regrets ever even producing me. Not that I can blame her, I'm not much of a good person. Or for that matter, a "normal" individual. Oh and while we are on the subject of it, God doesn't care. Not at all. Never did. Never will. If he cared, I wouldn't be where I am. But who can blame Him anyway? I haven't given Him much to be proud of.
God...I'm pathetic. It's revolting.
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| You Make Me Forget How To Breathe |
[10 Feb 2007|07:52pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Stay Away" - Rooney |
] |
I'll never never ever fit my most painful thoughts and secrets in this space.
And I'm jealous of those who can.
Pardon my screaming. After all, you're only breaking my heart.
Same old story everyone knows. One heart holding on, the other letting go.
I'm a mess of insecurities. Help me...lost in this worthless and crazy universe...find my way.
Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you?
There is so much I don't say to you. I just wish I knew how to.
Which would you prefer?
My finger on the trigger or me face down across your floor?
Please please please don't fade away.
I need you.
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| Life Sucks and Then You Die. |
[04 Feb 2007|07:23pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Catching My Breath" - This Providence |
] |
I'm dangerously under-medicated and obviously you are incapable of assimiliating the extent of my genius. Incapable, I said.
They say what a pretty little smile. What a shame.
They don't see what I hide behind it.
We live in a world full of people,trying to be someone they're not.
If you go to the end of the world for someone,
Make sure they're going to be there when you get back.
Because they usually aren't.
I've got a head full of dreams.
You'd never believe.
I think, therefore, I am dangerous. Dangerous, I tell you.
It's so easy to believe someone,
When they say-
Exactly what you want to hear.
I scream my insecurities
And mutter my apologies
And that is why the world
Is always going to be so wrong.
And now I'm hopelessly caught between.
Perfect Lies.
Impossible Dreams.
Welcome to a world of lies, lust and death. Welcome to a world where talent gets you only so far, and your own natural greed will get you much further.
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| OMG. The rain's wet. |
[01 Feb 2007|08:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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fo shizzle ma nizzle |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Miss Delaney" - Jack's Mannequin |
] |
Today I realised a god-awful truth.
I talk to myself.
Isn't it funny that "myself" actually, I mean, ACTUALLY listens?
That's great.
I have a friend.
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| Face It. You Want Me. |
[01 Feb 2007|12:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Watch The Sky" - Something Corporate |
] |
Alright.
I admit it.
I AM in a constant state of ambivalence.
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| I don't obsess, I THINK intensely. |
[01 Feb 2007|11:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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Aren't I always though? |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Paralyzed" - Rock Kills Kid |
] |
Subconsciously, I constantly, alright - obsessively, narrate my life in my head, in third person.
But then, doesn't everybody?
Let's see, what makes a human being, a human?
Happiness.
Sadness.
Depression.
Hope.
Shame.
Despair.
Desire.
Pride.
Amusement.
Courage.
Fear.
LOVE.
Am I a human...or a monster?
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